Scared

So I've been getting "advice" from people re. labor and motherhood. And this weekend, it wasn't so fun. I'm not sure if it was the hormones or what, but it made me kind of depressed. I felt a little better after I talked to my mom and some positive friends, but it was kind of rough for a little while.

I just felt like I had been pretty excited about meeting this new baby and welcoming him into our family (and actually having a family of our own), but then I got scared and almost apathetic about the whole thing. The excitement was gone. Last night was our birthing class and that made it a little better, at least at the beginning. But when the teacher talked about the lack of sleep, I got depressed again.

So, I'm thinking a lot of it has to do with Satan. And why not? Of course he wouldn't want me to be excited for a new baby. He wants to destroy our families.

I, in no way, am saying that those that have given me advice are Satan! I just think the way this advice has made me feel is not of Heavenly Father. I'm sure He's so happy that Chad and I are willing to go through the hard times to bring one of His children to earth. I know I'll have to look at this down the road when I'm feeling depressed or exhausted with a newborn!

SNOW!!

Snowy Wisconsin...

Today was crazy...we got so much snow that church was canceled...something I don't think happens very often. Our neighbors had fun sledding down our front yard-the snow had made a huge hill for them. I probably would've joined in, but was a little nervous about smashing the baby. Or maybe I was just nervous of that big hill!

Our driveway...after they snow-blowed it...

We watched cars get stuck on our street all morning

Wisconsin

Baby Pictures

The baby at 9 weeks

The baby at 22 weeks

I'm 30 weeks today and the baby seems to be getting bigger and bigger. His kicks are a bit more strong and his hiccups seem to be stronger, too! My doc thinks he's head down (let's hope he stays that way!) because I feel his hiccups on my lower left side--she thinks his back is there. I'm measuring right on schedule...was kind of hoping I would be measuring bigger so I could maybe count on him coming sooner than May 5th. Oh well.

I'm getting pretty excited, but also scared at this point. Chad told me the other day I should be pregnant for at least another year. I almost punched him! But he said it's because he's scared. At that point, I was feeling fine. All it took was the tour of the birthing suite to get me nervous. I think it's just because it's an unknown thing. How long will labor last? Will the baby be really late? Will labor pains really hurt? And I've just recently started thinking about all the things that will change once he's here. Good grief. What did I do?!

But there have been some pretty amazing quiet times where I've felt so bonded to this little person that I've never even met. Some of those times are when I'm humming certain songs I want him to recognize once he's here, like "I'm a Child of God" and "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor. So maybe it was the hormones, but while humming one night, I got so emotional and just felt an overwhelming love for this baby. Those times make up for the aches and pains and the apprehension I've been feeling lately.

Chad's new hair

Chad cuts his hair at least once a week. I'm not sure why he has this new obsession, but I think it's way better than the bangs he had when we first met!

Getting bigger!

This was a few weeks ago...I think I was 28 weeks. I don't love this picture and haven't taken another one since!

This was in January...not sure what week I was then.

About 20 weeks...

Around Thanksgiving... maybe 16 weeks or so.