It's the little things...

I was pretty ok with things last night. Mom left and I felt like I had a handle on things here at home. That was until she called me from the airport. She had a long layover, so I told her she could call me if she got bored. We just chatted for a little while, but after we hung up I cried. It's ok...it was my daily dose of hormone release. But our phone call made me miss her a lot...I can't remember the last time I missed her so much. And she had only been gone for a few hours. And she'll be back here in a few weeks for Cam's blessing.

So then I was scared again. Of course, I think it's Satan that wants me to be terrified of being a mom. So I need to let go of the fear and embrace the newness of it all.

Cam slept in 4+ hour stretches last night! I was so proud! It took a while to get him back to bed this morning, but it was such an accomplishment. I was so shocked that I kept waking up at the time he should've been getting up to go check on him. But he was still fast asleep. Let's hope tonight is that way, too.

I think it's funny that the milestones in my life now are how long Cameron will sleep through the night. Or how much he'll eat in one sitting. Or how long he stayed awake staring at the wall. It'll be neat, though, to see him grow and change and become more of a little man.

Pics

Old Blue eyes

He learned this from Dad

Perfect

Bath Time

First Mother's Day

First Mother's Day

My Sleepy Boys

Good thing this sleeper has pockets (riiiiiight)...

It's as if he's saying, "Sup ladies?!"

It's official. I'm a mom. And I feel incredibly weird. But I also feel an amazing amount of gratitude for my mom and for being able to become one myself. I love the way Cameron looks up at me when I'm feeding him or when he's just exploring what's in front of him (even if it's a white wall!). I love that he needs me more than anyone else in the world, even when I get tired at night. He's such a sweet little man.

I reflected a little on this huge change today at church (people couldn't believe I was there, but Chad was set apart as the new EQP and I thought I should support him--I'm awesome), but I was also able to think about the mom I have (sitting right next to me) and the mom I want to be. And I have to say that I'm a little scared and excited. How scary it is to have such a responsibility to mold and shape someone's life. But also how awesome to have that amount of influence for good on someone. I hope I can and will measure up to this new role I have taken on.

Again, I'm a little nervous about mom leaving tomorrow, but it reminds me of how Chad and I felt after dropping off his dad at the airport when we were first married and moved to Madison (his dad drove the moving truck out for us a week after we were married). We both kind of felt like, "Now what?" I'm sure it'll be that way for a little while, but we'll figure it out.

First Week

This week has been rough for me...I'm still really sore from the whole birth/tearing deal, my feet and ankles are like elephant feet, breastfeeding is a little more involved than I imagined, and I'm a bit sleepy.

What in the world would I do without my mom here? Seriously, it's so hard to "jump" up from my donut-cushioned seat sometimes that it's been great to have mom here to get Cameron for me, change his diaper, buy and make meals for us, etc. Plus, I've been pretty emotional, so it's nice to have a voice of reason with me all day. I'm a little worried about how it'll be next week when she's gone, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Chad's been super busy with the end of the semester. I'm just glad Cam came when Chad only has a few weeks left and not a few months. That would be hard. I'm looking forward to a short break he has (yes, Chad, I said you would have a break!) between this semester and the summer one so that he can be home with us a little.

Some great things about this week: Breastfeeding REALLY helps you shrink back to size quickly (not that I'm back to myself again, but I can see it working); when Cameron just stares at things, it's neat to watch him and wonder what in the world he's thinking, especially when he looks at me; I can tell he recognizes my voice and that makes me feel pretty good; when Chad talks about how much he loves and misses the baby when he's gone at school; and again, having my mom here.

He's Here!

I don't want to bore you with all the details, but since I left my last entry kind of in the air, I figured I should at least write a little of the experience.

Chad and I got to the hospital at 5:30am. I was only dilated to 2cm and was so disappointed. My blood pressure was also pretty high, so they wanted to monitor me and the baby and make sure he was ok. Man, laying in bed with monitoring belts on was awful--I couldn't get up and deal with the contractions when they came. And every hour that went by got worse and worse, but I still kept progressing. At about 8am, I was at a 5 and they admitted me to a room.

Soon after I got to the room, I got an epidural. The needle going in was a little painful, but it was the best thing in the world to not have those horrible contractions anymore! So then we hung out for a while until about 1:30pm when I started to push. I didn't have to push too long--he popped out without the doctor even in the room and was born at 2:58pm! I tore quite a bit since his hand was right by his face when he came out. But I was so emotional and numb from the epidural that I didn't really care. Now, I'm hurting like crazy!

We named him Cameron Dean Shorter and he was 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. Chad and I bawled when he came out and think he's the greatest thing we've ever seen. We love him so much!

Blogging through labor?!

So, I can't sleep. Mostly because I'm pretty sure labor has started (way to go Dr. Miller and stripping my membranes yesterday!). I woke up at 1:30am with intense pain down in my pelvis (think someone shoving their heal into your pubic bone...nice). The first two were really intense and felt pretty long. But since then, they've been kind of sporadic.

Chad wants me to get sleep, and I agree that I need it. But it's hard to sleep when you wake every few minutes or so to have a contraction. Wait, one's coming on.

Ok. I'm good now. I'm glad we took a childbirth class that gave me ideas on different positions for how to cope. My plan is to stay here as long as possible until the pain gets so unbearable that I have to go in. Otherwise, I'm afraid the hospital would send me home and I REALLY don't want that.

Cute Chad...he's pretty nervous. At this point, I'm not nervous at all...just going through the motions and hoping that it will actually get more and more intense so I can get this kid out (oh and get an epidural!).

So, more to come--I'm sure once the baby's come. It might be a while before I write in here again.

Nothing Yet

So far, dad, mom, me, Ana, and Katie have lost in the pool. Shanan and Jess guessed the baby would come today (we'll see if anything happens tonight), Clay guessed tomorrow, Chad and Claire guessed Saturday (my due date), my land lady is hoping for the 12th--her bday--and Grandma Norma guessed the 20th...that was just plain mean!

I feel pretty sore today, but woke up in a good mood. I think I had a dream about the baby laying on the floor and just watching the ceiling fan go around and laughing. And it made me so happy. Not sure why...guess it's the simple things. So I woke up excited to finally meet this kid.

I have my "last" OB apt. tomorrow afternoon. Last week, my doc said she would go ahead and schedule the 15th for an induction date, but I'm going to see if I can convince her for the 6th! I know it's only a day after I'm due (which is why I don't think she'll go for it), but she'll be on-call then. Let's see how much she likes me! Plus, this kid was 7.6 almost two weeks ago! Hopefully my doc will want to help me out a little!